Find yourself in a slump or bombarded with negative thoughts? Founder of The Happy News, Emily Coxhead reveals five tips on how to be happier
Firstly, there is no simple way ‘to be happier’, happiness doesn’t come from one particular place or person or thing (although, cups of tea and lying on a beach would definitely be top of the list for me).
We need to try and steer away from this idea that after our next holiday, pay-rise, new purchase we will be happier because if there is an underlying problem, niggling thought or feeling or generally just a reason to be unhappy then that will still be there no matter how much stuff gets in the way.
we can’t wake up one morning worry and stress-free, that is not how the world works
Of course, it’s not as easy as finding total peace and happiness in yourself, we can’t wake up one morning worry and stress-free, that is not how the world works.
What we can do is try to understand the underlying issues and try to build our own strength and resilience so we can firstly recognise our thoughts and feelings, but then also try to understand and work through them whether that’s writing them down or talking to somebody you trust.
It can be incredibly important and helpful if you’re able to share the load and just take away a bit of the weight you’re carrying around.
Here are five very basic tips which may help you find a little happiness now or later down the line…
How to be happier tip #1 Be mindful about what you’re consuming
Especially now more than ever we are constantly bombarded with terrifying headlines and statistics not to mention scrolling through social media looking for glimpses of positivity and often being met with a whole heap of negativity, comparing and not feeling good enough.
Know that it’s okay to turn off news notifications if you’re feeling overwhelmed, it’s also absolutely okay to unfollow or ‘mute’ people on social media who aren’t making you feel good.
In the same way that you have (or should have) control over who you have around you in real life you also must apply this to the ‘virtual world’ too.
How to be happier tip #2 You cannot please all of the people all of the time
I get it, it’s not as simple as just shrugging off your boss’s comments or not taking to heart something a friend has said, these are all very normal situations which we can often find difficult to process.
However, as you go through life there will be many people who come and go and the truth is that you just cannot and will not please all of the people all of the time, this is something people say to me a lot, it’s one of my Dad’s favourite sayings but it’s still something I have to remind myself of constantly.
you just cannot and will not please all of the people all of the time
I think once you can realise and admit that there are certain things or ways or traits that some people simply just won’t like or understand about you then it makes it slightly easier to process if you do lose contact with somebody whether that’s gradually or suddenly.
Talking to people is so important and a huge way we figure things out and move through sticky situations even if it’s really difficult to do so.
However, sometimes it just doesn’t work out and that may not be anything specifically to do with either person and is likely to be totally out of your control.
How to be happier tip #3 Find stuff or people that make you happy
We can quickly and often unknowingly get trapped in these ideas of what should make us happy or what makes our friend or partner happy and it’s really important to sometimes step back and think about what makes you happy, when was the last time you did something just for you?
Whether it’s swimming or baking or running or painting, whatever brings you a little happiness, do more of that.
How to be happier tip #4 Embrace what makes you… well, you!
We live in a world which unfortunately isn’t always designed to make us happy, it’s far quicker to point out our flaws – that we should have less wrinkly skin, fewer stretch marks or shinier hair.
Every little bit of us is what makes us who we are and tells our story and makes us different to the next person, it’s not always easy but we should be SO proud of that.
Change doesn’t need to be ground-breaking or news-worthy, often the smallest of things have a positive difference
Our body is the most incredible thing and looks after us in ways we can’t comprehend at times, we shouldn’t be constantly berating it or considering how it could be or look better.
We would never do that with our mum or our friends so why do we do it to ourselves?
How to be happier tip #5 Be the change
I know we hear this a lot; ‘be the change you wish to see’ but it’s such a simple message which I think every single one of us could get on board with.
be the change you wish to see
What would make the world a better place? I can think for one, if we were all a tiny bit kinder to ourselves and others it would make a huge difference.
There are so many very small things we could do which would make a big impact if more of us did them; from picking up pieces of litter, writing to our grandparents or friends we haven’t seen for ages or buying a colleague their favourite chocolate bar.
Change doesn’t need to be ground-breaking or news-worthy, often the smallest of things have a positive difference far greater than you will realise, it makes you feel good, it makes the other person feel good and it has a ripple effect even further than that.
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